The Adventures of Wiggle Baby

Indeed, it has been a while since my last update, as I’m mostly spending time away from the computing interaction box. The foremost result of this time is my new physical strength. For example: now that I’m hooked on chewing on my hands (mmm, chewy) I will immediately defeat all who impede my access to said hands. To the moon, Swaddle! On the downside, this means it’s wartime at night when the Big People attempt to keep me in wraps.

I’m increasingly taking a liking to sitting upright and having a chat — though not necessarily at the same time. Sitting upright requires extreme concentration of force, so I find laying on my back to be the best position in which to gossip about miscellaneous items pertaining to babble, nonsense, or whatever it is that’s coming out of your mouth. What *I’m* saying makes perfect sense!

Other recent goings-on include the occasional sleepy car trip, nap time fights/grudges, and really awesome rattle toys. I have also undergone the near constant experience of being the subject of photo shoots, but it’s too late to post any of these at the moment. Once I extract my hand from my mouth, I’ll be sure to get them on this web thing post haste.

OK, I finally did it: I figured out how to roll from my tummy to my back. Mainly, this is because laying on my stomach is horrible, awful, brutal, remorseful terribleness. So, I determined that the most expeditious solution was just to switch to my back. Seems logical to me, but for some reason everyone is really, really excited about it, and they keep forcing me to do it repeatedly.

After the excessive back rolling, we visited my grandma’s workplace, where I met a giant man-dog, saw a bunch of school buses, and watched everyone eat free bagels. I’m still trying to figure out the exact correlation between these items – man-dog eats bagel and then chases buses?

My new obsession this week is gnawing on my hands – they’re the greatest things I’ve put in my mouth since the last thing I put in my mouth!

P.S. my great-gram gave me this neato family heirloom quilt, which I enjoy a lot. When you lay it out it’s huge, and sometimes makes me feel tiny, so I get cranky (see photo in sidebar.) But there is a 33% chance of me being cranky – the other 67% of the time I am either asleep or attempting to find more tasty hands to chew.

What a busy week…I’m starting to normalize my general life schedule chaos, and it’s going well. During the day I’ve been enjoying my new fancy swing, which is on loan from my fabulous Aunt Sara. Rocking? Great. Rolling? Can’t yet! I’m also beginning to recognize this magic levitating cow that is attached to my chair. Sometimes I smack him with my hands, and he swings all over the place. That cow is crazy, and he’d better watch out, because he’s in for a good punching.

This weekend I saw lots of family. I met my first cousins once removed, and we had tons of fun. (Have you ever tried to figure out your relationship to other people in your family? It’s ridiculous! What wacko designed this goofball system? But I digress.)

I also went on my first significant traveling excursion in the large bouncing vehicle contraption. I couldn’t decide if I was sleepy or awake, but mostly I wasn’t too upset about the situation. When we finally arrived at our destination, I spent time with my grandparents, great-gram, and several other people that I am related to but the relationships are too complicated to explain. In a nutshell, they are all gooney, and wonderful.

Having recently passed the two-month threshold in my burgeoning life, I find myself contemplative in my newly acquired old age. I will therefore reflect on incongruities noted over the past several weeks.

1. In conversation, what I’m speaking is not what I’m saying.
2. I am tired, but I am excited. The excitement causes wakefulness, but my fatigue causes discomfort.
3. Things I once found soothing, interesting, or remarkable are now agitating, boring, and plain.
4. I am unaware of my lack of awareness.
5. I don’t know what’s funny, but I laugh anyway.
6. I am much bigger than I used to be, yet I am tiny.

To recap other recent events, I visited the Big People in White Coats again on Friday. This time they were even meaner and stuck two sharp things into each one of my legs! If this is some sort of perverted sport, I’m calling the commissioner and giving him a piece of my mind. (On second thought, since I am not conversant in the ways of telephone functionality, I guess I’ll have to settle for just screaming loudly. Hopefully someone is talking on the phone nearby and my point will be made.) By the end of the ordeal, we learned that I am heavier and taller than before, but I was too distracted by the blinding leg pain to recall the details.